easter’s cum early

the puns and jokes for this are endless but i’ll try my best to keep them to a minimum. ok, which came first the chicken or the egg? …the chicken, well the cock to be precise.

so i bought a tenga egg and it’s definitely organic orgasmic. what is it? well if you don’t know, it’s a japanese masturbation aid. yes… i’m a wanker, so what! if i can quote cameron diaz out of context from ‘the sweetest thing’ “OH… MY… COCK! oh my cock! oh my cock!” and the tenga egg is soooo sweet, dare i say… so cute ya just wanna fuck it, lol.

it’s like an adult version of a kinder egg, except there’s no toy, the egg is the toy. even having seen pics before, when i opened it i wondered how am i going to fit in there! the egg comes in a shell 6.5cm long and 5cm in diameter but is made of a flexible material that works wonders and easily stretches over your penis and down to the end of the shaft if you so wish, or just play with the head, twist and turn it, experiment.

some of the tenga eggs available

it comes with a sachet of lube. there are a few different designs available (different ‘nubbles’ on the interior) different strokes with different yolks. i picked the clicker, but it’s a different version of the one shown, it’s more a triangular shape with rounded edges. it’s my first sex toy ever and i’d highly recommend it as it only cost £10 (i think you can buy them in bulk cheaper online) but when i discovered that it’s intended as a once off toy i was really disappointed and thought it wouldn’t be worth it for £10 but after doing some further research online i discovered you can use it numerous times with proper washing with luke warm water (hot water may destroy the material) some anti-bacterial solution and careful drying.

you can ejaculate in the egg, i haven’t yet even though i’ve ‘eggsperimented’ (sorry) with it 3 times in the last 12 hrs :/ one of the main differences to other similar products is that you control the pressure. as it stretches it becomes transparent at the top and the ‘nubbles’ can be seen, though it looks strangely alien it’s surprisingly not off-putting. all i can say is that it really works, feels amazing and if you’ve thought of getting one definitely get one. can be used alone or with other/s.

if it was just a once off toy, for me it’d be 4/5 max but as long as i get a few goo’s it’s a 5/5

lube>squeze egg for lube coverage>insert>play

you’ll know when you’ve been tenga’d